托福独立写作范文及名师批改（下篇）
- 2017-03-17 16:23:49 来源：思润教育
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摘要：写作备考难度大？不具备自我批改能力，写出来作文，找不到问题所在？不妨尝试思润西安雅思托福培训中心写作批改卡，助你突破瓶颈，超越7分!下面为大家分享托福独立写作范文及名师批改，自我检测一下，有没有存在相同的问题，进一步完善自己的写作！
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思润动态 托福备考
写作备考难度大？不具备自我批改能力，写出来作文，找不到问题所在？不妨尝试思润西安雅思托福培训中心写作批改卡，助你突破瓶颈，超越7分!下面为大家分享托福独立写作范文及名师批改，自我检测一下，有没有存在相同的问题，进一步完善自己的写作！
However, it is not to say that learning from people above our level is not beneficial. 先说一下让步部分的好处！They usually have the foresight to inspect what is beneficial in the long run and being friends with them allows us to make better decisions in the long run while at the same time gain insight into knowledge and events. Nevertheless, T the problem is that we usually feel distant from those at a higher level. For example, a survey done by IBM shows trainees tend to be too shy to ask CEOs questions about how to write an annual report. They fear that their questions are too naive or even stupid that the CEOs may look down upon them.【本让步段的论证不够丰富!】!
In closing, learning things from people at our own level is a much better way than learning from those above our level. We are able to work harder, learn faster and form a deeper insight of problems we come across.【总结全文】 !
1、Topic Development:⾸首段话题展开充分,⽴立场清晰鲜明!!
2、Organization:总分总结构,主体段落部分有两个论述段+⼀一个让步段,结构清晰完整!!
3、Language use:⽤用词单⼀一不够丰富,句式还算多样化,偶尔有⼀一些语法和拼写错误,详⻅见批注!!
4、Strength:结构完整,⽴立场清晰!!
5、Weakness:论点构思繁冗,让步段论证不够充分,同时语法词汇掌握不是非常扎实!!
6、Improvement: 同学独立写作的结构思路还是清晰的,只是论点的构思还不够简洁,论证偏少,同时语言还有一定的提高空间,建议多 多积累话题素材并参考范文的布局谋篇和遣词造句,以优化自己的写作!! !
Independent Task!
Level :Fair!
3.50!
22!
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