托福独立写作范文及名师批改（TPO 28）

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TPO 28 Question:!

Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in

the past. 构思太慢 字数少 写不完 结尾草 这篇得了4.0！! !

As the competition in labor market growmore and more increasingly intense, the  significance of educatine education has been widely acknowledged by society. As a result, to help children gain advantage in job market, parents today place more importance on their children's education than ever before. However, they are not actually more involved in children's educaiton education than were parents in the past. It is not to say that parents become irresponsible; they are still extremely concerned about education of the next generation. It is just the job of educating children has been taken over by traditional school and online studying.!

First of all, traditional schools and summer school programs have filled in parents' roles in students' education. Traditional schools now have a set of very considerably strict and thorough procedure to culture students, to guide them through their lives and to prepare them for exams higher education. In the past where education is was only a privilege for children from rich families, parents who cannot afford their children's school fee had to teach tutor their  children on their own. In contrast, today obligatory education is available to most children on the planet, freeing parents from the chore of teaching giving children lectures on Math and English. In many Chinese middle schools, teachers are in close contact with parents, reporting children’s daily behavior as well as academic performance to parents. If children have done anything worth notion, ranging from discomfort during Gym to a breakthrough in Math, parents are informed straight away. Besides, if children do not do well at school, parents could send them to summer schools. Teachers from summer schools instead of parents would shoulder the responsibility to help children catch up with regular school work. In this way, schools help parents take care of and educate children in a very productive way. In addition, if children do not do well at school, parents could send them to summer schools. Teachers from summer schools instead of parents would shoulder the responsibility to help children catch up with regular school work.!

! In addition, more and more children join online study programs to gain knowledge rather than turning to their parents. Popular online study programs like Coursea and MOOC are highly welcomed by more and more children children and parents. Plus, when parents feel their children need to learn something important but feel awkward to do so, the choice of turning to trustworthy websites and online courses is widely accepted. To illustrate, it is usully usually very somewhat embarrassing for parents to teach children knowledge about sex, but this lesson is absolutely of great importance. Surveys show that many parents from Beijing would recommend the website Qingxing.com to their children and let them do self-study.!

However, being less involved in children's education dosen‘t  mean is not equivalent to ignoring children's education it. According to a survey by Tsing Hua University, the average percentage spending on education of younger generation nearly tripled during the past ten years. We have every reason to believe that Pparents are indeed more and more concerned about it, but the process of teaching is done by other people or facilities..!In closing, parents of the present world are indeed less involved in children’s education by letting children go to schools and encouraging children join online study programs, which are actually yielding great results.!

分数:4.0!

Topic Development: 观点明确,论证切题,展开充分!

Language use: 表达清晰!

Strength: 论证逻辑严密,表达连贯!

Weakness: 论证的结构!

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